


Darcy Rabbit

by Cerise_anouk



Series: Halloween Fics [1]
Category: Ant-Man (Movies), Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Darcy's boobs, Dressing in Drag, F/M, Friendship is Magic, Implied Steve Rogers/James "Bucky" Barnes - Freeform, M/M, Romance, Steve and Bucky have been FRIENDZONED!!!, cheese. so much cheese, cus why not, halloween fic, references to other movies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 12:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8144246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerise_anouk/pseuds/Cerise_anouk
Summary: “Way to show me up, Lewis. I’m supposed to be the looker at this shindig.”
Striking a pose and looking over her shoulder at him with a flutter of lashes she rasps out in a sinful voice, “I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Another Halloween fic. So sue me.

“Who’re you supposed to be –Bob the Builder?”

Steve blinks at Tony, who’s dressed in a slutty French maid’s costume (fishnets, hat, duster, heels and all) that he’s _pretty_ sure is actually for a woman, “Who’s –never mind. I’m the Shoveler,” turning so he could see the shiny metal shovel strapped to his back, “See?”

“Seriously Rogers? It’s Halloween, the one day you can dress up as _literally_ anything and _nobody’_ ll judge you –I literally mean literally, look at me –and you pick the _Shoveler_? You’d have done better if you had just worn your Cap get up.”

Feeling his cheeks heat up he looks down at Tony’s patent leather peep toes, “It was either this or I was gonna be Mr. Rogers,” He’d watched the picture with Darcy and Bucky a few nights ago and he’d really liked the Shoveler character so he’d changed his costume decision on the spot.

Before the last scion of the Stark’s could say anything else derogatory about his life choices Bucky sauntered up to the pair dressed in his regular black tee and jeans combo, his bionic arm missing.

“Are you funnin’ me Barnes? I could’ve _sworn_ that I specifically told everyone that it was a costume party and you show up in regular clothes?”

Smiling smugly at the man who was still shorter then him in platform fuck-me heels and a little frilly hat Bucky says, “I’m the One Armed Man, Stark. Don’t you have any imagination?”

“Amateurs, I’m working with fucking amateurs,” huffing, Tony clacks away from the duo.

Smiling at his best pal Steve thanks him, “Thanks, Buck.”

“No problem. Been savin’ your ass since you were a little guy, ain’t gonna stop now. Even if it’s from a Munchkin in hooker shoes.”

Snorting out a laugh Steve takes a sip form his solo cup of spiked punch and scans the room full if costumed partiers. Speaking of munchkins….. “Shadup, ya jerk. Darce tell you what she was coming as?” She’d kept it a secret for weeks from the both of them, refusing to tell even when bribed with an addict sized mocha-choco-loco with a triple shot and a Hawaiian bagel from that little coffee shop they’d had to fly into the city and hike the twenty blocks over and ten down from the Tower that Darcy considered to be ‘the abso-freakin’ best’ and thus only used for special occasions.

“Nah. Tried t’ get it outta her one more time this morning but the only thing she’d say was that it was ‘epic’. And that we better wear loose fitting pants, for whatever reason.”

Steve snorted again. Knowing the quirky girl that could mean anything. She could come as Lara Croft from Tomb Raider or a giant squirrel. She was one of the few people that he could never anticipate, which, as a tactician, was both refreshing and frustrating.

Back when they’d started the whole hanging out business, he hadn’t been too sure about the dry-witted woman. He wasn’t from a time when guys and gals….’hung’ out. Not like Darcy defined it. Meeting a dame for a bite and a picture? Yes. Sitting on the couch in sweat pants and slippers while you shared day-old Thai? No. He was used to putting on his best and picking up a girl who was all dolled up and making sure he was on his best behavior. He didn’t know what to do with someone of the female persuasion that could care _less_ about all the ancient dating traditions he and Bucky had held sacred. (He didn’t count Natasha because, well, she was _Natasha_ and Maria Hill was sometimes more ‘one of the guys’ than he was.)

And if he had been floundering at the beginning than Bucky had been straight up _sinking_. While he was different from who he’d been seventy years and numerous electrocutions and brainwashing ago, he was still pretty much the same old Buck, and if there was one thing he knew how to do it was woo a dame, especially a dish like Darcy. Except he didn’t, or couldn’t, rather. After they’d gotten comfortable having her around, he’d started to put the old moves on her, something that had made Steve jealous at first, considering Clark Gable he was not when it came to attractive females.

Standard opening doors, complementing her hair/outfit, witty little one liners, smoldering looks –the usual. And they’d just bounced offa her like _she_ was made of vibranium. After that stuff had had no effect on the busty focus of their secret affections, he’d pulled out the big guns and invited her dancing only to get completely shot down with a casual, “Nah, I’m cool. I’ve got two left feet, but thanks anyways.”

So the lazy day movies and old take out continued interspersed with endless trays of homemade cookies, muffins, pies, and trips to odd little antique shops and mom and pop restaurants. All the while Steve and Bucky fell deeper and deeper for their, uh, ‘couch cuddle buddy’ as Darcy liked to call herself.

They’d agreed early on when they’d noticed their mutual attraction that no matter who she chose that they would still be friends, no hard feelings. They’d said ‘till the end of the line’ and they still meant it. But now that a year had passed and she’d shown no preference for either one of them, Steve was starting to lose hope that she felt anything more than friendly affection for the two soldiers misplaced in time. He knew she liked men. She couldn’t sit through movies like Pride and Prejudice or Lawless without commenting on how ‘hot’ the leading man was. They just weren’t her type.

So here they were, at Starks ridiculous Halloween party with the rest of the Avengers and their friends waiting for the girl of their dreams to make her entrance.

“Nice Bob the Builder costume man,” Sam says in amusement as he joins them.

“I’m the Shoveler,” Steve declares with a glare, “What’re you supposed to be?” he asks, taking in Sam’s air force jumpsuit and aviators.

“Bro. I’m Maverick. Hasn’t Darcy shown you _Top Gun_ during y’all’s movie marathons?”

“It’s on the list,” Bucky says, smirking.

“Hey! Bob the Builder! Cassie loved that show!” Scott exclaims as he reaches them.

Bucky takes one look at his getup and dribbles some of his punch down his chin as he bursts out laughing.

Tilting his shaggy-wigged head down Scott looks at his costume of chest showing shirt, tight leather pants and platform boots before looking at the one armed assassin, confusion shiny in his eyes, “What?”

“Who th’hell’er you?” Bucky asks then takes one look at the star painted around Scott’s right eye and falls to pieces all over again.

“Dude, I’m Star Child. Kiss? Love Gun? Everyone knows who he is.”

“Are you wearing a collar?” Steve asks.

“I’m _Star_ _Child_. He wears one.”

“You guys need to seriously get out mo –ho-ly _shit_.” Sam nudges Steve.

“What?” he asks but Sam seems to be momentarily unable to talk and just nods his head towards the entrance.

Turning around he feels his jaw practically unhinge and drop to the floor at what he sees.

It’s Darcy. And she’s not dressed like Lora Croft or a giant Squirrel. At all. Fishing a hand out he blindly yanks on Bucky, afraid if he looks away from her she’d disappear.

“I see her,” Bucky murmurs huskily, drinking in the sight before them.

She’s got a red wig on coifed in a loose style, and the glossy lipstick painting her mouth matches its vibrant shade. Her eyes are dusted with a glittery purple shadow and her lashes look impossibly thick and long. But the real show stopper is the curve hugging glitz scarlet dress lovingly wrapped around her voluptuous body. The heart shaped neck line puts her breasts on glorious display and the slit riding high on her thigh reveals a shapely leg tipped in a sky high red pump with every step. Covering her slender arms are a set of purple gloves that match the color dusting her eyes.

They know instantly who she’s dressed up as. Darce had made them watch the movie that was a mix of cartoon and real actors at the beginning of October, along with Bed Knobs and Broomsticks and Mary Poppins.

“Jessica Rabbit,” Bucky breathes, “She’s fucking _Jessica_ _Rabbit_.”

Steve can only nod as his tongue seems to not be working at the moment as he tracks her progress across the room. She’d came with Thor and Jane, who’d come as Curious George and The Man with the Yellow Hat.

Not that either of them noticed, considering they weren’t able to take their eyes off the vision of Darcy.

Which was ruined by Tony Stark, of course, marching up to her in his scarring costume.

“Way to show me up, Lewis. I’m supposed to be the looker at this shindig.”

Striking a pose and looking over her shoulder at him with a flutter of lashes she rasps out in a sinful voice, “I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way.”

Steve shifts as his cock stiffens and notices Bucky do the same thing out of the corner of his eye. _Stay_ _down,_ he willed his penis _, Stay. Down._ Too bad Buck hadn’t warned _him_ to wear loose fitting pants before he’d gotten into his costume, the fucker.

Rolling his eyes, Stark crosses his arms over his chest and states, “Whatever. I’m still a billionaire,” and flounces back off to where Rhodes and Maria Hill were stationed, dressed as a Leia and Han Solo.

“Better work up the nerve to go talk to her, boys, before someone else does,” Natasha advises, materializing from nowhere with Bruce in toe. She’s dressed like a Raggedy Ann doll and he looks like he stepped off the set of Saturday Night Fever, “Stark was in charge of the punch, I doubt it’ll be long with this crowd before someone full of liquid courage makes a move.”

Bucky and Steve share a hard look. Like hell someone else was gonna put the moves on their girl. Stalking across the floor they make their way over to where she was standing with Vision and Wanda who were dresses as Harry Potter characters, but other than their tie colors, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, they had no idea who they were supposed to be.

The four they left behind watch them in amused silence as they approach her, make polite greetings to their other team mates then gesture to the balcony and strode out with Darcy in tow.

“You knew about this, didn’t you,” Bruce asks looking down at Natasha.

The cat-that-ate-the-canary smile that curls her lips and makes her green eyes sparkle is all the answer he needs. 

* * *

It’s cool out on the balcony, despite the heaters, and Steve sort of regrets going out there , since there’s no way her getup can be keeping much heat in, but it’s the only quiet secluded place at the party without leaving all together and he feels a little safer with her out on the balcony. Less likely to slip up and say something completely stupid when there’s an entire room full of potential witnesses on the other side of a set of doors.  


“Nice Shoveler costume Ste–“

“You look gorgeous.” Like that. The balcony was supposed to stop him from blurting out stupid, embarrassing shit like that.

A pretty blush of surprise heats her cheeks, or at least he thinks it’s a blush, it _is_ chilly out there, and she drops her rainy day blue eyes, staring somewhere in the vicinity of his chest, which his heart is currently trying to beat through. He wonders if she can see it.

“Thanks,” she says awkwardly, grabbing an arm with one silk gloved hand in a rare show of self-consciousness. The move totally pushes her breasts even further together and emphasizes just how little material was keeping those glorious, bountiful mounds of wonder covered. Nipples. Nipples were under there. Great, now he was thinking about what color her nipples were. Rose? Petal pink? Coffee with cream? Either way he’s sure they’ll taste like heaven. Come on Rogers, get your shit together, you’re starin’ at her like she’s a lost little lamb and you’re a wolf about t’ pounce. He’d _definitely_ like to eat her–

An almost inaudible sound of acute pain snaps him out of his downward spiral into pervert-ville, population him. He’s pretty sure that if it wasn’t for his enhanced hearing he might have missed the distressed noise entirely, so focused on his sinful fantasies. Glancing to the right he has to swallow hard when he catches sight of the raw, blatant _want_ painted across Bucky’s face as he stares at the unassuming Darcy, who’s too busy staring at the vacant space where his pal’s cybernetic arm usually hung to notice how enchanted by her the two men were.

“Let me guess; you’re the one armed man.”

“He’s right,” Bucky says softly, completely ignoring her statement and the totally open shot she’d left him to make a dirty joke about the size of his dick, “You’re absolutely stunning, Sweetheart.” There wouldn’t be any jokes tonight. Not from him. She was too important, too special to the both of them, to be given anything less than a completely honest confession of feelings. The stakes were too high tonight for him to give her any doubt about just how serious they were. He wasn’t gonna be the reason they blew their one and only shot.

Again, a blush flushes across her skin, and they watch as goosebumps raced down her exposed milky flesh.

“Oh. Um. Thanks. You really think so?” she asks finally looking up at them, eyes flicking between the two for confirmation, “I wasn’t too sure about, you know,” she looks down at her outfit and shrugs, sending her boobs gently bouncing and Bucky has to literally _bite_ his tongue to keep from just dropping to his knees right there and begging for her to have mercy on their poor, unworthy souls, “But I went to some fancy-shmancy costume shop with the girls like forever ago and Jane was all like, ‘Darcy, you’re the only one with the boobs and ass to pull this off’, and I was like ‘Shyeah, um no, I have love handles literally made of cookie dough’, and ‘Tash pulled her Russian Jedi mind magic on me to convince me to try it on and I’m pretty sure Wanda actually used her witchy powers for evil and made me think I looked good–“

“We’re in love with you,” Steve blurts again, cutting off her rant mid-stream. Fuck he really needed to get a hold of that shit, “We, we both are,” He finishes lamely. In for a penny…

“Uhhhhh……” Darcy just stares at him wide eyed, like he’s just confessed that he liked to dance naked to Justin Beiber songs, “Excuse me?” her voice squeaks, her arms going limp with surprise, “Can you repeat that? I think I might have just had a stroke induced hallucination.”

Stepping forward Bucky wraps his fingers around her loosely hanging ones. She glances down at their clasped hands before looking back up at his sincere face, “We love you, Darcy. We’re completely gone over you, have been for a while,” here he looks over at his mildly panicing friend, imploring him with his eyes to speak up.

Smiling softly Steve steps forward and takes her free hand in his, “For a year.”

At this her jaw drops, “Bullshit. A year? Are you fucking serious? You guys have been in love with me for a _year_?”

Bucky rolls his eyes heavenward as though asking the Lord for strength in dealing with this thick-headed woman, “Yes, a goddamn year. Is it really that hard to believe?”

“Is it really –I’ve been at your guys’ apartment, on like every day that ends in ‘Y’, and not once have you guys given me the ‘hot for some sexy Darcy action’ vibe. Ever.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Bucky demands, outrage filling his voice, snatching his hand back and running it aggressively through his shaggy hair, “I flirted with you! For goddamn months, Darcy!”

Now it was her turn to send a disbelieving look his way, “No you didn’t! I think I would have noticed something like a hot as fuck super soldier putting the moves on me! Especially for a _whole_ _year_!”

_“I asked you out on dates!”_ He hisses indignantly, aware of the packed room just on the other side of the glass doors. Damnit, the fact that she had been completely oblivious to his advances more than stung his pride, “Movies! Dinner! Dancing! All of ‘em shot the fuck down!”

“I thought you were just being a nice guy!”

“A nice guy –Doll, you _cannot_ be that thick. And it wasn’t just me. Stevie was painting your fucking _toe nails_ on a regular basis, for crying out loud. It was _scheduled_ into his goddamn _phone_ so he wouldn’t miss it. Fuckin’ alarm went off every Wednesday. He _hates_ feet. ”

Darcy turns wondering eyes on a deeply blushing Steve.

“Is that true?” she asks hesitantly.

Shooting Buck the dirty look he _deserved_ for being a traitor he levels his embarrassed, but no less sincere eyes at her, “Yes. But when everything we did seemed to do nothing for you, we figured you didn’t feel the same way, about either of us. So we agreed that being just your friend was better than not having you at all. And I don’t hate your feet,” he adds, “Just everyone else’s.”

“Yeah, because you love her. The last time ‘Tash brushed her bare feet against you on the common room couch you acted like you’d just been fucking shot,” Bucky says, rolling his eyes. Now was not the time to down play anything. If they stood a chance of her believing them, they were going to have to be blunt.

She gaped at them like a beautifully done up fish, ““Bu-but, I am so the complete _opposite_ of attractive when I’m with you guys! You’ve seen me without make up and three day old yoga pants! I stopped wearing my good bra after the first month!”

“It’s sexy,” Bucky says with a shrug, “Way back, fella only got to see a dame without all the war paint and torture devices when he married her.” Husbands got the soft woman, and Steve and Bucky had been drawn by the sight of a dressed down Darcy like moths to flame. Broads willing to strip down for a fucking in either of their beds were a dime a dozen. Like shooting fish in a barrel. They fantasized about the day they’d get to watch Darcy come home and strip the silken blouses and pencil skirts of work off and transform into the welcoming, touchable woman they adored. Nothing was more of a turn on then seeing the well put-together woman and knowing you got to be the one to muss it all up later.

“And after really bad science benders with Jane and Erik!”

It’s Steve’s turn to shrug, “You get really cuddly after those, like a super snuggly little kitten.” Steve secretly longed for those days when she’d come over and fall asleep not even five minute into whatever flic they were watching. She’d practically crawl on top of him in her sleep deprived state and just nuzzle in all soft and sweet while he ran his fingers slowly through her fragrant hair.

“You’ve watched me literally eat my weight in Chinese food.”

“Hey, a healthy appetite isn’t a bad thing.”

“And bought me _tampons!_ The super ones, for like murder scene blood absorption.”

Here the two men blush and look uncomfortably at each other before shrugging. The feminine mystique had gotten a lot less mysterious since their emersion in the twenty-first century, that was for sure.

“…You’re our girl, Darce,” Steve says a little helplessly. He really couldn’t say anything else but that, “We’d do pretty much anything for you.”

Darcy blinks and looks down at the red satin tips of her heels peeking out from the hem of her dress, “But,” she says at a complete loss, “I’m….I’m just….Me.”

And there it was. The lightbulb finally went off for the two misplaced super soldiers. It wasn’t that she wasn’t into them; it was that she couldn’t believe that _they_ could ever be into _her_. So she’d never equated their actions as showing interest, just being good friends.

“Sweetheart,” Bucky says taking her hand back into his, and making her look up, “That’s everything we love. Just you.”

Rainy day blue eyes search both icy steel and ocean, seeking out any falsehood and finding none in either set, “You guys are totally serious,” there’s wonder in her voice, and Steve and Bucky feel relief flood through them. Finally. Finally she gets it. Finally she believes.

Then her eyes cloud over and a little frown curls her plush red lips down, “But why’re you telling me this now?” looking down at her ridiculously exposed cleavage, “It’s the stupid dress, isn’t it?”

“No,” Steve denies, “Well,” he glances down at her breasts and the way the dress was breaking the laws of physics to keep them covered, “not the way you think.”

“It was all the other assholes lookin’ at you, Darce,” Bucky declares with a growl, “No way in hell were we going to let any of them near you before we said our final piece. We had to know that we had zero chance before we just watched you walk off with another guy.”

“So,” Darcy says, some of the confidence she’d been missing since the start of the conversation ringing in her voice, “Let me get this straight; you’re both in love with me. Steve and Bucky. The two of you.”

“Yes. But we agreed that if you ended up liking one of us the other wouldn’t be sore about it. Do you,” Steve continued timidly, “Are you….attracted to one of us?” He hated the pleading, hopeful tone that had wormed its way into his voice.

Instead of the instant ‘no’ that they were expecting, silence stretches from the woman they both desperately loved as she assessed them, eyes gazing back and forth. Steve’s heart pounds loudly in his ears and Bucky fights the urge to pace. It had been a long time, for either man, since they’d confessed feelings for a woman, other than lust. And to have that one be Darcy, a woman they couldn’t have imagined in their wildest dreams, was more than they’d ever hoped for. Everything was riding on her answer. They couldn’t get drunk the traditional way, but if she turned them down they were gonna break in to Thor’s apartment and jack the crate of Asgardian mead he thought was hidden in his closet, go back to their place and get stupidly, pathetically, full on depressed drunk.

“Yes.” Finally comes her nervous answer, and both men let out the breaths they didn’t know they’d been holding before tensing back up.

“Which, uh, which one of us?” the two share an uneasy look. They’d talked about this. Agreed. But now faced with the reality…

“Both of you.”

Steve blinks in surprise, his brain freezing mid thought, “What?”

Darcy bites her lip and glances worriedly at both of them, “I’m in love with both of you, is that an option?”

Steve and Bucky turn shocked, hopeful faces on each other. Both of them? Never in their wildest of fantasies had they even thought…. Well, maybe there, on long missions. It’s more than they’d ever hoped for in _reality_. They’d done some things, before. Back in their original time. Had women, the two of them together at once. France. Germany. It wasn’t uncommon during the war, anything to chase away the nightmares that soldiers witnessed. If it kept the men sane, there wasn’t a whole lot the commanding officers hadn’t turned a blind eye to. Before long it became their preferred way of blowing off the stress of battle, the two of them and a girl bought for the night. They felt better together, liked watching each other with women. In the present time they’d dared not try it, afraid any woman they’d proposition would tell. Captain America and the Winter Soldier splitting dames on the regular? If the press got ahold of that… They had never thought that they would ever find a good woman willing to partake in such a lifestyle, one willing to make a life and home with them instead of just collecting her clothes and her earnings on the way out. When they’d realized each other was attracted to Darcy it had never even crossed their minds that she’d be willing….But she was, and she was everything they had ever wanted.

“Hell yes,” Bucky bursts out before surging forward and taking her lips hungrily with his own, thrusting a hand in her red wig, taking control. It was heated and sloppy, lacking any of his usual finesse, and full of all the pent up passion and love and need he has felt for her for the last year. Darcy moans and presses herself flush up against his hard chest. His stiff cock presses into her soft belly and her pussy clenches as heated want rolls through her. Watching the two lose themselves in each other, Steve feels his own dick push against the tight zip of his pants. Fuck but he’s turned on.

Releasing her from the kiss Bucky takes in Darcy’s dazed expression with male satisfaction before gently pushing her towards his best friend, who needs no invitation.

Pressing his mouth to hers, Steve nips at her lip causing her to gasp and he thrusts his tongue into her mouth, dancing his tongue around hers, tasting punch and her and Bucky. He grinds himself against her in a steady roll of hips, heightening his arousal. They need to take this somewhere else or he’s going to fuck her over the balcony rail where anyone could see. Slowly releasing her he too smiles in pride at the heated look on her face.

Blinking away the haze of arousal Darcy looks between the two smugly turned on men.

“Your place?” she asks breathily.

Steve lets out a shaky breath and nods wordlessly, his cock giving a hard pulse. Fuck. Yes.

“Ours, yours, this balcony, the fucking elevator, where ever you want, Doll but I’m definitely going to need m’ other arm before we get started. I’m going to need both to properly worship every Goddamn inch of you.” Bucky growls out, his eyes promising dark, dirty, amazing things as they bore into hers.

Darcy lets them take her hands and haul her through the balcony doors and passed half-drunk party goers. Passed Wanda pointing a fake wand at Scott and saying “Wingardium Leviosa” and making Star Child float in a haze of red. Passed a blitzed Curious Jane, pimptastic Clint, Wonder-Pepper and Tony doing the Thriller impressively in heels. Passed Maria doing a spot on Wookie call.

Finally they are out of the room and going as fast as Darcy’s shoes and dress will allow her until they finally reach the guy’s door. As they pull her over the threshold she hesitates, and they both turn to look at her question.

“I’ve never –not with two. Not that I don’t want to! Trust me, I want. Like I’m the fat kid, you’re the cupcakes. I’ll sign a waiver if I have to, I just–“

Steve leans forward and silences her with a deep, gentle kiss, “Darcy,” he stares into her eyes, “We can go slow, promise.”

“Trust us, Sweetheart,” Bucky says, pulling her the rest of the way in, “Let us love you.” He kisses her fingers.

Darcy gives herself a mental shake. Get your shit together, Lewis. You’ve been masturbating to dreams of them for months, don’t fuck up now. Rolling her shoulders back she sashays deeper into their apartment, hips swaying, slowly drawing the side zip of the dress down. Stopping just before the hall that led to the bedrooms she lets the heavy sequenced fabric slither down her body to pool in a heap around her sky high red pumps, revealing a purple waist cincher and matching silk Brazilian panties and garter attached to sheer thigh-highs.

Strangled sounds and muffled, reverent curses come from the two men frozen by the door. Placing a still gloved hand on one round hip, Darcy arches her back and pulls the red wig off, letting her honeyed chocolate tresses cascade in waves down her back, as alluring as any pin up.

Looking over her shoulder she pins the two hypnotized super soldiers with burning, glitter dusted eyes.

“Wanna play patty-cake?” she entices huskily.

Bucky kicks the door closed.

* * *

  


The next morning…….

  


  


The last scion of the Stark family breezes wobbly into the common area kitchen in a pair silk pajama bottoms a well-loved tee, and Hulk slippers, lasts night’s eyeliner and red lipstick smudged like a well-used hookers and takes in the motly crew lounging half dead around the room. Maria’d stolen Rhodey’s Leia buns and had them on cockeyed while Clint’s still rocking his pimp costume.

“All right, who had money on Halloween?”

Jane’s hand comes up over the back of the couch where she’s laying, head in Thor’s lap, nursing a hangover. There wasn’t enough caffeine and Aleve in the world. Wanda lifts a dainty hand from around her mug of strong smelling tea, Maria pops him a jaunty salute and Natasha smirks.

“Insider trading,” Tony cries, looking from each woman to the next, wincing as the sound reverberates back. Fuck he was still drunk, “You all went with her to get that sex-show costume. I call foul, you’re outta the running.”

“You’re just jealous she was hotter than you,” Bruce states over the edge of the comics section of the newspaper.

“And? Doesn’t change the fact that they doped the pony.” Tony crossed his arms and shot them all a righteous look. So what if he would have done the same thing if he’d thought of it? He hadn’t and they were cheater-cheater pumpkin eaters. What, was there any pumpkin pie left over from last night?

Sam looks up with interest, though it’s hard to tell through his dark sunglasses. He was the next closest if the girls were disqualified.

Nat looks back down at the newspaper she’d split with Bruce, “Pepper was in with us.”

“Well, fuck.”

**Author's Note:**

> Halloween costumes:  
> Steve- yes, he is the Shoveler. He's a super hero from Mystery Men. I was going to make him Mr. Rogers from the old kids show, Mr. Rogers, "its a beautiful day in the neighborhood" guy, but there you go.  
> Bucky- is the one armed man, which is a running old joke but is from the movie the Fugitive starring Harrison Ford. He's framed for his wifes murder, but escapes to prove that it was, indeed, the One Armed Man.  
> Darcy- is Jessica Rabbit. she's the sexy cartoon wife of Roger Rabbit, an actual Rabbit cartoon star of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? She's not a rabbit. She is a night club singer where Betty Boop is a waitress. Men and Toons want her. it's a mixed movie with half the main characters cartoons and the other half live people. its pretty damn awesome. There's a ride in Toon Town in Disneyland where while you're standing in line you pass her dressing room and see her shadow in the door window.  
> Tony- is a dirty French maid. I cant get more straight forward than that.  
> Sam- is maverick from Top Gun. Tom Cruise plays the character in the 80's movie. he's a fighter pilot.  
> Scott- Is Star Child from the old rock bad KISS. its also a reference to Paul Rudd's other movie Role Models where he dresses up as Star Child to LARP with his little Auggie. their country is KISS-my-Anthia.  
> Jane- Curious George, the monkey from the books and cartoons Curious George.  
> Thor- Is the Man in the Yellow Hat. Curious Georges handler dude. He's never given a name, just that title. He usually has to clean up Georges messes if he's even aware of them happening.  
> Wanda- Is a Hufflepuff witch, no one particular  
> Vision- Ravenclaw wizard, no one Particular  
> Maria- Is Han Solo, from Star Wars  
> Rhodey- Leia from Star Wars.  
> Pepper- Wonder Woman, DC super hero.  
> Clint- Is a generic pimp  
> Natasha- Raggedy Ann, the doll from Raggedy Ann and Andy  
> Bruce- Tony Manero the main character from Saturday Night Fever a movie about dancing in a club during Disco starred by John Travolta. he actually had to take dance lessons for the role.
> 
> BOB the builder is an old toddlers cartoon. he wears construction gear. 
> 
> DARCYS lines: "I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way." is a direct Jessica Rabbit quote. she says it to the detective in the movie (whose brother was killed by a Toon. He dropped a Safe on his head....or was it a piano?).  
> -When she asks them to play "patty-cake" it's also a reference to the film. in the movie Roger Rabbit is having Jessica investigated for cheating. the PI gives him pics of her literally playing patty-cake with a human old dude (who ends up dead, thus the title of the movie). when he flips through them it turns into a flip book showing the patty-cake. It is like their sex. 
> 
> The Thriller is a Michael Jackson song that's like 20 minutes long and has a kick ass dance, called the Thriller. Everyone should know the moves. EVERYONE.


End file.
